Redefining Confidence: Supporting Quiet Learners

I think we're all used to the stereotype that confident children are loud, outgoing, and take the lead in social situations. But what if confidence looks different for different children? Keep reading to find out how confidence shows up in quieter learners and how we can support and nurture it.

The Problem with a One-Size-Fits-All View of Confidence

Schools often reward extroversion. Children that put their hand up, answer questions, and contribute to discussions frequently receive a lot of praise. However, it is important not to overlook quiet children. We can't assume that quietness equates to shyness, that they are disengaged, or they like ability. Equally, we don't want quieter learners to internalise this narrative about themselves and not believe in their own potential.

What Confidence Looks Like in Quiet Learners

We may not be used to looking for examples of 'quiet confidence'. It could present as:

• asking for help

• trying again after a mistake

• stepping outside of their comfort zone without any fanfare

Confidence is not about personality; it's about internal security and willingness to take healthy risks.

How Educators Can Support Quiet Confidence

Supporting confidence in quiet learners starts with shifting our expectations around participation and success. Educators can create space for quiet confidence by building strong relationships first. A child is far more likely to take academic risks when they feel seen and safe. Celebrate thoughtful input and quiet perseverance, just as much as quick answers or vocal participation.

How Parents Can Support Quiet Confidence

At home, quiet confidence can be nurtured through encouragement, validation, and trust. Avoid comparing your child to more outgoing siblings or peers, as it can reinforce the idea that quieter children are less capable. Instead, acknowledge the bravery in the small things, like speaking up when they're unsure, asking a thoughtful question, or persisting with a challenge.

If you would like more gentle strategies for nurturing confidence in learning, download my free Confidence Toolkit or contact me to talk about 1:1 support.